It’s probably the most challenging time of year to be a mom. Pile onto all the other “mom duties” the demands related to kids and the holidays, whether it means special school events, shopping, or the unanticipated surprises you know are coming.

But don’t dare complain, especially if you also happen to be employed.

For whatever reason—maybe people think they are being helpful, perhaps it’s human nature, maybe they think I care about their opinion—once I reveal that I am a working mom, more often than not people opine.

And I have this advice. Whether you think being a working mom is good, bad or you are indifferent on the matter, keep your opinion to yourself.

I work because I choose to. I appreciate my job, am proud to have a career, and it does not prevent me from being a good mother.

Nor does working negatively impact millions of mothers across America from being caring, loving moms. In fact, many are stronger and better for it.

Would it be easier if I did not work? Probably. But the key question is, would our family life be better?

The answer is, it would just be different. That much I know.

But why do outsiders always feel a need to push their opinions on working mothers? This is especially perplexing coming from males or women who have never been working moms. Reminds me of the classic Bob Dylan line: “Don’t criticize what you can’t understand.”

It is unfair and, in many instances, rude to offer opinions about working mothers to moms who work, without being asked for them. It is hard enough doing the job.

Some women want to work but cannot for any variety of reasons, and this can cause guilt. There also are women who are able to work and do so, but feel like less of a mother. It is not an easy decision.

So, unless asked, keep your comments to yourself. I’m happy with my job and with being a mom, thank you very much.
Denise Burnside
Simi Valley