Give your Hulk a hug

"Don't make me angry . . . you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." - Bruce Banner, in Marvel Comics' "The Hulk"

In its latest version, "The Incredible Hulk" has once again become an instant smash (no pun intended) and has caused quite a stir among movie audiences.

According to the story line, when mild-mannered scientist Dr. Bruce Banner, played by Edward Norton, is provoked into anger or experiences severe pain, he literally "Hulks out": His body painfully expands in a matter of moments and he becomes a meaner than imaginable, extremely large green monster with a really nasty disposition.

When this happens, not only is he no fun to be around, but he's also extremely destructive, uncontrollably destroying property, people and his relationships.

I believe the reason this movie sequel is such a success is that the average individual watching it can personally relate to both Banner and the Hulk into whom he morphs.

We identify with his dilemma because there are times when we know we don't respond well to pain, be it emotional or physical; that pain can easily provoke feelings of anger and even rage.

In other words: Within all of us lurks our own version of the Hulk, waiting to be unleashed on our world and our relationships, and the trigger point is usually some underlying emotional pain, manifesting as unexpressed anger.

Buddha is quoted as saying, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned." The point is that internalizing our anger is just as dangerous and destructive as expressing it in an outwardly destructive manner.

So, what do we do? First, we understand that anger is a secondary emotion. Most often underlying the emotional pain that triggers anger is the primary emotion: fear.

It's important that we learn to identify our anger as an "effect" rather than a "cause" and to be consciously proactive rather than reactive in addressing the underlying fear before it erupts, inflicting damage on ourselves and others. The operative word is "consciously."

It's all energy and, rather than be denied or suppressed, it needs to be managed mindfully.

Most often, perhaps much like the mild-mannered character Bruce Banner, much of our internalized fear comes from a sense of feeling overpowered and powerless- a fear that we are not "big enough" to handle the vicissitudes and challenges of life.

Out of that fear erupts our own personalized version of the Hulk. My truth and yours is that we are much bigger than any Hulk when we consciously align with the infinite as our source and power. We know we can handle whatever life throws at us in a productive and proactive, rather than a destructive, manner, yes?

Where we really part company with this character in the story, however, is when he says, "Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry." We know that no one has the power to make us angry unless we give that power to them- it's a choice we make.

And beyond that, when we do give someone else the power to make us angry, we need not worry about whether they will like us. The larger question is whether we will like ourselves.

Give your Hulk a hug and handle him mindfully today, or be handled by him.

Dennis Merritt Jones is a local life purpose coach, spiritual mentor, keynote speaker and author of the book "The Art of Being: 101 Ways to Practice Purpose in Your Life." He can be contacted through his website, www.DennisMerrittJones.com