DARLEEN PRINCIPE/Acorn Newspapers LOVING MEMORIES- Kathy Ervin, 79-year-old Simi resident and owner of local antique store Penny Pinchers, talks about a favorite photo of her son, Lance Cpl. Greg Ervin, where he is pictured with three Vietnamese children. Greg Ervin was gunned down in Vietnam at the age of 18 on May 29, 1967. Kathy Ervin opened up an old cream-colored photo album and pointed to a picture of her eldest son.

The image was of a smiling young man standing in camouflage with three Vietnamese children in front of him, all posing happily for the camera.

"This one always makes me feel so proud," 79-year-old Ervin said. "He loved children. He wanted to get married one day and have his own family."

It was exactly 41 years ago yesterday, just two months before his 19th birthday, that Lance Cpl. Greg Ervin was gunned down while crossing a river in Vietnam to execute a search and destroy mission with the United States Marine Corps.

Greg, a former Cub Scout and confirmed Catholic, joined the Marines in the summer of 1966, right after graduating from Simi Valley High School. When he enlisted, his father, Richard, had to sign an authorization form because Greg hadn't yet turned 18.

Despite being extremely worried and nervous for him, Kathy said, she could not object to her son's decision.

"I was really proud of him," Ervin said. "So many people were against the Vietnam War. But I couldn't say I was against it because I knew how much it meant to (Greg) to be there."

To Kathy Ervin, the meaning of Memorial Day is so much more than a three-day weekend filled with barbecues and picnics, which is how many Americans celebrate the holiday. For her, it's a time to commemorate the men and women who sacrificed their lives to serve their country.

It also marks the anniversary of the evening she and her late husband learned their son had been killed in combat back in 1967.

It was just after 11 p.m. when the family's priest, a Marine Corps major, came to their home in Simi and rang the doorbell.

"I answered the door in my pajamas," Ervin said. "When I saw them at the door, I went and got my husband, and we just knew."

Since then, as she's tried all these years to move forward with her life, the feeling of losing Greg has stayed with her.

She attends the 8 a.m. Mass at St. Peter Claver Church every Sunday. Penny Pinchers, her antique store, has been a popular business in Simi Valley for almost 42 years.

Ervin has also been to every single Memorial Day ceremony at the Pioneer Cemetery on Thompson Lane except for one- the year that she and her husband traveled to Washington, D.C. for the 25th anniversary of the Vietnam War.

During this year's ceremony, City Councilmember Barbra Williamson read from one of the letters Greg had sent home from Vietnam.

In it, Greg sounds like a typical 19-year-old growing up in Simi Valley, talking about aspirations of going to "Moorpark Junior College" to study pharmacy, and pondering the idea of marriage.

"I have the G.I. Bill to help me, and I will also have, I hope, a small amount saved," he wrote. "I will be 26 or 27 when I finish but it is a good job. I have only one major problem and that is marriage, but it can be worked out. Right?"

After reading the letter's content, Williamson presented Ervin with a resolution recognizing Memorial Day.

"She's just a dear lady," Williamson said. "She was always the Gold Star mother who carried the wreath. When I came into her shop to talk to her about Greg, I started crying. It's still such a tender subject, 41 years later."

Kathy Ervin still cries. But she finds solace through her faith, through speaking to Greg in her prayers and celebrating the love of life that he showed in all of his actions as a child and a young man.

She remembers a time when Greg, only 6 years old, and another child in the neighborhood got into a can of paint and used it to paint an entire doghouse, including the dog inside, Ervin said with a soft laugh.

"That was probably the worst thing he ever did," Ervin said.

Greg never got into any serious trouble. He attended Mass every Sunday. He was student body president in the ninth grade and was voted "best eyes" by his graduating class.

For about eight years after his death, Greg still held the highjump record at Simi High. He loved to surf and was popular among his peers. To this day, some of Greg's old friends still come into Kathy's store to reminisce about him.

These are just a handful of Kathy's fond memories of her son, and she'll always have them even if her sadness never goes away.

Kathy said it's impossible to give any words of advice to those who have lost a loved one during times of war. But she said they will always be in her prayers.

"God bless them," she said. "My heart bleeds for them. I hurt for every son and daughter I see in the paper. I hurt for them and I hurt for their families."