Make Valentine's Day a family celebration
By Debra Hart Special to The Acorn

Traditionally, Valentine's Day is the most romantic day of the year.

However, celebrating the day need not be only for those dating or in couples relationships.

If your "pair" has blossomed into a family, experts suggest trying to start some new traditions that can turn America's day for love into a family affair.

Valentine's Day is a great opportunity for families to focus on teaching children how to build and nurture lasting relationships, according to Dr. Debra Decker, PhD, a marriage and family therapist in Simi Valley.

"We learn early on in psychology that modeling is one of the more important things," Decker said.

Decker also emphasizes problemsolving together and providing a loving atmosphere in the household so children have a visual example of a healthy, positive relationship.

"I think it is important for the man and woman to validate each other," she said.

Just as with other holidays, Valentine's Day is a great time to start a family tradition.

A fun Feb. 14 tradition might include sharing stories of how grandparents, parents or special couples the family is familiar with met and fell in love.

Young children love to hear stories repeated year after year, especially when the tales relate to their parents or special people in their lives.

Marriage and family therapist Stephanie Staie of Journeys Counseling Center in Simi Valley suggests making it a Valentine's Day tradition to look at wedding photos or watch your wedding video together as a family and talk about the wedding and fond memories.

Miranda Madsen, a wife, mother and teacher in Simi Valley, suggests a formal "etiquette" dinner as an annual tradition.

"It teaches them manners, proper etiquette and proper table settings," Madsen said.

An etiquette dinner can include a variety of real-life skills, such as dressing up formally, billing and tipping lessons, teaching boys how they should treat women, teaching young women how they should behave and be treated on a date.

"They can learn how to behave in a formal setting," Madsen said.

One family from Simi Valley has made it a tradition to have a chicken dinner- be it fried, baked, grilled or a chicken sandwich picnic in the park- every Valentine's Day. Years ago, the husband "chickenedout" on proposing marriage on Feb. 14. He finally got up his nerve a few weeks later, and the idea was born to celebrate his delayed courage each Valentine's Day with a special chicken dinner.

The commercial market is overflowing with items for gift giving, but handmade and personalized gifts may be more meaningful. Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to bake some homemade goodies together or rent movies with relationship themes (e.g., "Sleepless in Seattle" or "Casablanca"). FamilyFun.com also has a variety of ideas to jazz up your Valentine's Day.

"It is good to be reminded on Valentine's Day that we need to express how much we care," Staie said, "but we need to find ways to express our affection for loved ones every day, too."

Staie suggests small gestures of affection such as making her a cup of tea, cooking his favorite meal, putting a note in a child's lunchbox, filling her car with gas or making a short, thoughtful phone call.

"Whatever makes that person feel loved and cared for," Staie said.