"If an idiot were to tell you the same story every day for a year, you would end by believing it."

- Horace Mann

That's my story

and it's stickin' to me!

Have you ever had an acquaintance tell you the same story about some trauma drama going on in their life every time you were around them?

Then one day the actual trauma drama ended, but the story continued to live on, taking on a life of its own day after day, month after month and, yes, year after year until it became a living legend. Eventually, that story turned into their history, becoming their point of identity, their trademark story that defines who they are in the world.

After working with many individuals over the years, I have observed that this storytelling ritual usually has a common theme where the storytellers place themselves in the role of the victim.

Somehow, somewhere, sometime, someone did something that hurt him or her. Even in the stories where they had the legitimate right to feel like a victim, at a certain point along the way, they made a choice to stay a victim.

The retelling and retelling of their story (history) is how they do it. From this mindset, the story keeps them powerless and stuck exactly where they are in their life. On some level, we have to know that this is precisely what they want.

Now, I intentionally presented this scenario in the third person because it's often easier to see it acted out at a distance in other people's lives than in our own.

Nonetheless, you and I have each had a story or trauma drama that at some point helped define who we believed ourselves to be.

What is the content and theme of your story? Has the victim been liberated from the bondage of the tale yet? Are you continuing to tell it long after the story ended? Is there any part of your daily life in this moment that is drawing its energy from your history, past misfortunes, disappointments and less than positive life experiences?

If we are not fully conscious, it's easy to become mesmerized by our own story. If we tell it often enough, it really does take on a life of its own, and we end up believing it is the truth of who we are. The result is that we then live small, restrictive, powerless and unrewarding lives.

There is a great country song titled "That's My Story and I'm Stickin' to It." The truth is that when we retell our stories long after the issue itself is dead, the story is actually "stickin' to us."

The first step in peeling that story off is to wake up to this holy instant. Think of the precious energy and time you are wasting on keeping the past alive. The truth is that your life is a miracle and a gift from God. To squander even five minutes of it on your story is not honoring the gift that's been given to you. So write a new story based on who you are today: a spectacular being who is here on planet Earth starring in your own production called life.

You can begin by becoming the conscious observer of your thoughts and words today. Listen objectively to what your dialogue reveals.

If you catch yourself telling a story that only serves to keep you small or in the powerless victim role, stop and take a deep breath, then tell a new story, even if it's only a vision of what can be affirmatively different from what was.

Focus on the possibilities of what can be. Now that's a story worth telling.

Dennis Merritt Jones is the spiritual director for OneSpirit Center for Conscious Living in Simi Valley. His website is www.OneSpirit.org. Many of his writings read in the Acorn can be found in the book, "The Art of Being: 101 Ways to Practice Purpose In Your Life."