After two family tragedies, woman continues fight against ALS
By Michelle Knight knight@theacorn.com

Barbara Frova

Barbara Frova is a calendar girl.

The mother of two adult children posed discreetly in the buff as Ms. September in the Women of the Rotary Club of Simi Valley calendar.

The calendar is the club’s fundraising enterprise to benefit the American Cancer Society and the ALS Association. It recently went on sale for $20 and is available over the Internet at www.simivalleyrotary.org.

“We thought this would be something unique, and all the women (Rotarians) thought it was a great idea,” said Frova, Rotary Club president.

The owner of The Maids Home Service, a business she started 12 years ago, Frova came up with the idea of the calendar fundraiser because many of her fellow Rotarians or a family member had been touched by one or both of the diseases.

In Frova’s case, it’s both. Within four years, the diseases took Frova’s husband and a daughter.

Frova’s daughter Louise was diagnosed with lymphoma in 1997. The mother of two young children underwent chemotherapy and radiation and even had a bone marrow transplant. But she died Jan. 24, 2000 at the age of 35.

In 1999, Carl Frova was diagnosed with ALS. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, is a fatal neurodegenerative disease that usually leads to total paralysis. Most people live two to five years after being diagnosed. (For more information on ALS, please see the accompanying article.)

Carl died June 30, 2003.

Through these tragedies, Barbara Frova has remained positive.

“And the choice is?” she said. “The two deaths have really awakened the importance of living each day. . . . Each day is a gift.”

Frova was helped through the experiences by supportive friends and family. Her two other children—Stephanie and Stephen— traveled every weekend for three years to Louise’s home in Tustin to help out. And Stephanie, who will soon graduate from the UC Santa Barbara, has organized teams for several years for ALS fundraising walks, signing up as many as 45 volunteers for “Carl’s Crusaders.”

And when Carl fell into a coma just hours before Stephen was to graduate from high school, Frova called on close friends to cheer Stephen on at the graduation ceremony in her stead so she could be by Carl’s side.

Barbara and Carl had been active advocates for the Los Angeles chapter of the ALS Association, offering advice and support to newly diagnosed ALS patients and their families. She’s remained connected to the organization despite her loss.

Frova speaks to new widows at their request, comforting them as they go through the grieving process. And she’s active in ALS fundraising campaigns.

“We’re very fortunate to have someone like Barbara, who fought so hard while her family was struggling with the disease,” said Fred Fisher, chapter president. “She’s known from personal experience the devastation of the disease, and she has rededicated herself to support others who are fighting the disease.”

In recognition of her efforts, the chapter recently nominated Frova to be a chapter advisory trustee—a key volunteer position that helps raise funds as well as awareness of the illness and the services the organization provides.

All that being said, Frova isn’t immune to having bad days. But losing two of her closest family members within a few years of each other has given her a different perspective on what constitutes a bad day.

“There aren’t a whole lot of things on that list,” she said.

When those days do occur, she seeks the company of good friends to cheer her up.

Frova says it’s a mistaken kindness for people to avoid discussing a friend’s deceased family member for fear of upsetting them. It makes her happy to hear how Carl and Louise impacted other people’s lives.

“It says that they were important in their life,” Frova said.

She also says it’s better to ask the person who’s lost a loved one if there’s anything you can help with or invite them to dinner instead of asking how they’re doing.

“It’s a nice way to say you’re concerned without (conveying) the negative,” she says.