I don’t know about the rest of The Simi Acorn readership, but my hopes for NCAA Tournament bracket glory went tumbling down quicker last week than Mark McGwire’s reputation.

Despite year after year of telling myself to avoid this nonsense and just enjoy the round of 64 how it’s meant to be—for the basketball—I once again found myself with paper and pencil in hand trying overnight to recreate myself as a Vegas odds maker.

By Saturday evening, just about the time West Virginia was knocking off my Final Four placer Wake Forest in double overtime, I was looking more like a housewife making picks according to which team has the fewer syllables in its proper name.

It’s utterly frustrating, and this year for the first time ever its available for public humiliation via ESPN.com’s Tournament Challenge competition. Great idea.

In it, bracket busters from across the nation are invited to register their picks electronically to compete in a national pool of over two million Nostradmuses in training. So while its nice to have someone to keep track of the scoring—always a thankless task—it also means that anyone can quickly check and see that my once-beloved bracket is in 2,563,980th place.

That’s a real confidence booster. Kinda makes you wonder if I should’ve just given it to my Lebanese pool guy and let him have a go at it?

So with this in mind, I figure why not offer myself up for some additional public ridicule by giving you, the reader, my picks for the remaining eight Sweet 16 games. Then, not only can the whole ESPN community know my lack of precognition, but so can you.

Here we go:

Duke v. Michigan State—This is a super tough pick, but I’m going to have to go with my gut on this and a little guy named J.J. Redick. Plus, I haven’t seen the Spartans much this year, while Duke seemed to be on TV every other evening. Winner: Duke, come-from-behind.

Utah v. Kentucky—Though I’m excited to see the way the Utes are playing, and my heart will be with them, my head tells me Kentucky is the wiser choice. The Wildcats are deep in big men and they should be able to do a number on Andrew Bogut, the best basketball player to come out of Australia since Luc Longley. Utah just doesn’t have enough scoring power or the defense to stop a well-rounded and tradition-heavy Kentucky team. Winner: Kentucky, by 10 or more.

North Carolina v. Villanova-I believe Villanova is the best of the remaining Cinderellas, but I think, along with the rest of the country, that the Tar Heels are just too good to go down this early. Don’t expect this to be a blow out though as the often time inconsistent play of North Carolina shooting guard Rashard McCants could play a factor against a very stingy Villanova defense that helped beat four top-20 teams during the regular season. Winner: UNC

Wisconsin v. NC State—Forget the statistical comparisons here, I’m just ready to see the boring Wisconsin Badgers go. Let’s hope for another spirited performance by one of the tourney’s best, Julius Hodge, and a little less shooting accuracy for the Badgers who are a lot like watching a room full of senior citizens play bingo—it’s so slow and calculating it hurts. Winner: NC State

So that’s how I see it going over the next two days, but as I said before, don’t put the family savings on it. After all, when 2.5 million (that I know of) have already done better than me I can no longer claim expertise status.

Regardless of the outcome of these games, a few things are certain to happen—basketball fans will be entertained, bettors will spew obscenities, and Vegas will get rich. Oh, and I’ll be explaining to my friends back home how I had Texas Tech losing in the first round to pitiful UCLA. Damn California bias.

But that’s March Madness—and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now if I can just find a way to skip out on all responsibility for the next two weeks and enjoy all these great games, I’ll be fine.