Special support group helps Boomers care for aging parents
By Lori Porter
porter@theacorn.com

If you’re a "Baby Boomer," you may have suddenly found yourself frustrated because you’re busy with your own life while simultaneously caring for your elderly parents. For those in that category, a new support group has formed. It’s called "Club Sandwich" and it started just two months ago.

Debby Shelford of Thousand Oaks, a leader at Weight Watchers, cares for her 76-year-old mother who’s as sharp as a tack mentally but is deteriorating physically, according to Shelford. Although she tries to offer advice to her mother, like many senior citizens, her mom has become stubborn.

"I can’t force her to do what she doesn’t want to do," said Shelford. "Sometimes you just have to give up and let it go."

One day, while sharing her frustrations with her Weight Watchers group, Shelford joked that she should start a support group. Afterward, another member—Miriam Gluzer—approached Shelford and asked her if she was serious.

The two women decided to give it a try. After doing extensive research and sending out flyers and e-mails, Club Sandwich hosted its first meeting at Gluzer’s Agoura Hills home. Eleven caregivers attended.

Attendance nearly doubled by the second meeting in early March, confirming the need for a support group. Taking care of an elderly parent is often thankless, time-consuming and physically and emotionally draining.

"There are so many issues connected to caring for the elderly on top of trying to manage our own lives," said Shelford. "We hope we can provide a place where people can feel free to share their stories. We just want to listen and be of some help."

Future topics are expected to include information about searching for assisted living facilities; wills and trusts and other financial matters; how to discuss an elderly person’s preferences on rejecting or maintaining life support in a hospital; how to administer multiple prescriptions; and when to take away a driver’s license.

Too many people, Shelford said, don’t ask: "When was the last time you were a passenger in your parent’s car and how do they drive?"

Many caregivers have full-time jobs and can easily become resentful over the extra burden.

Anyone caring for an elderly person is welcome at the Club Sandwich support group.

It meets on the first Thursday of the month. For more information or directions to the group, call Shelford at (805) 241-5656.